Thursday, 7 July 2011

Trapped.

I felt trapped. I didn’t know what to do or who I could tell, I was stuck trapped in the middle of investigation on my first day as super intendant. Detective Doyle walked me back to my car and said he would keep me posted. A rookie whose name I am going to make my priority to learn asked me if I was ok? Or needed a lift, I decided nobody used to be nice to me before so why not so I just said ‘’I’m fine and yes that would be lovely but you best clear it with your supervisor ‘’ he looked at me and his face dropped I asked him what was the matter? He said ‘’he’ll never let me go’’ so I just said ‘’go over there and say I said you are to drive me back to the office as a matter of urgency’’ he just looked at me in amazement he responded ‘’really?’’ I just looked at him and said ‘’go on then’’. No one ever gave me a break and this would have been my dream, I am going to change how we are treat with in the force starting with the rookies.

As we were driving back to the office when we both started pointing out people that could be arrested I was thinking finally someone who thinks the same as me and doesn’t just call it a stupid habit. I think we got 42 between us in a 45 minute drive. We walked to reception and he turned to me and said ‘’should I go back now?’’ I just said ‘’they’ll manage for a few hours’’ I found out my office was on the 13th floor we got in the lift I think he was still amazed I asked him to stay. I we got to my office I was thinking my very own office all mine I opened the door and all the expectations built up… all that hope… all the ideas of what it will look like and I hated it, it was black and shiny, shiny who gives a cop a shiny office me + shiny = messy. So I sat down and the rookie was still in the door way I said to him he had to come and sit down and that was an order and he did as he was told.

I sat there at my horrible shiny polished black desk I was all to clean, so I got out a note book and planed how to make my office ‘normal’ I started a list and first on my list was finger prints. I stood up walked over to the glass and pressed my hands on the cold hard glass and continued around the room making sure everything had at least a few finger prints on. I turned to the rookie how now looked like someone has just walked in here and shoot everything to pieces and said ‘’what, it was too clean, now I think we should leave before cleaning get here.’’

We walled to my car and I drove him home we got to his house and he turned to me and said ‘’thanks for today it was brilliant!’’ he was about to close the door when just said ‘’53’’ I managed 56 so I just yelled ‘’56’’ I saw him walk up his long path and into his house trying to work out what he had missed.

I drove home. When I got home I walked to the door I was about to put my key in the door and I heard something move, it sounded like someone was sweeping what do I do? do I burst in? I have my gun or do I try and see who it is? Then I started to think is the key still in the planter? I took the planter, went behind my car and pushed my hand through the soil, where was my spare key my get home drunk and can’t find key key? That was it! I had a moment of weakness and a shot of adrenaline that was it who dears to break in to my house?!

I stood up, dusted the soil off me even though I still looked like I just rolled around in the soil, got out my gun pulled the loader back, went to my door, pushed the door with all the force I could summon I was about to shoot. My house looked like a crime scene covered in blood in circular movements like when someone tries to clean it up… then sitting there on the sofa was Jack Castle my ex-boyfriend holding a gun… and covered in blood.

18 comments:

  1. Smashing, Beckah, great ending. Sets the next part up nicely - good work!

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  2. Nice suspenseful way to end it! Now I need to know who her ex killed...and if there's something romantic with the rookie. I like how they have the same quirk about numbers.

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  3. all will be Reviled soon i promise! glad you liked it!

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  4. Very good, Beckah. Love your style :)

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  5. thanks glad you liked it!

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  6. Great job Beckah, love how this is proceeding. Can't wait for the next episode!

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  7. hehe i'm glad you like it i have the 3 parts written so far glad you are getting into it!

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  8. I liked the story but it reads a little rough. And in the second paragraph you use the word "expectorations" and I think you might have meant "expectations," unless it was meant to be funny...

    As a final way of editing, try closing the door and reading it out loud to yourself. This tip works. Thanks for the story, and keep writing!

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  9. thanks i hadn't noticed that! yea it reads rough for the next few i think Future Nostalgic is going to help with the editing lol

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  10. Very good Beckah, you've left yourself a nice opening for the next part. :)


    Helen from helen-scribbles.com

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  11. Great job with the story line, Beckah. You've built up a lot of suspense and introduced some interesting characters. I can't wait to read more.

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  12. thanks glad you are liking them! hope you like the next lot too! there's a lot more to come and a new character on the way soon too!

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  13. I like to see the nice way she treats the rookie (I wish all bosses could be like that) but who is this ex and why is he covered in blood? We must know!

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  14. musten.....tell....next....parts.....secrets!
    but don't worry you find out soon as they say all will be revieled! glad you like it thanks for reading it!

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